The Perfect Fit

While in the process of congratulating my friend on a fantastic new pair of heels a thought came to mind that really seems to sum up so much.

There are many women out there that have yet to experience the wonders of heels. You see, heels are fantastic for staying in shape and making ones legs look fantastic. Women who don't wear heels just haven't found the right pair for them.

There is a perfect pair of heels out there for every woman. The problem is, you must be willing to try on several horrendously painful pairs until you find the right ones. They're a lot like guys actually, only...once you find the right pair of heels, they won't speak or hog the bed and they come in several fun colors! So really...heels are better than men.

This has been another exciting edition of "Feminine Wiles with DjDk"

Until next time kids! Keep shoe shoppin'!

Adventure into the Once Known

These lack of updates have put me in quite the pickle, folks. You see, I’ve been home for three weeks now and actually, quite a bit has happened so updating will be a real…challenge.

To sum things up as best I can:

The Volcano was battled and defeated by all the Emersonian Castle Dwellers that dared to go home that day. Our plane departed on the first day the airports were opened and, despite four hours of line, the gate closing before any of us could check in, and 8 hours of flight, it was uneventful and successful. A tackle at the airport was a long awaited welcome home and I could not have been happier.

From there, one week of solitude ensued where I learned just how much I am not a housewife. This is a good thing to note when embarking in social situations because it clearly categorizes me as a strong, working woman. I am proud of this. Very proud.

Cinco de Mayo came and went complete with much mess and accomplishment. (A special edition of Feminine Wiles will be released later this month detailing the events of that night.)

I have since been working full time and dealing with family issues that have kept me otherwise occupied. However, as ABCrawford (You should read her blog!) pointed out, I have been neglectful and this is not good.

Thus, here is the main point of this entry:

And now, a special edition of Feminine Wiles with DjDk!

Adventure into the Once Known!

Hello kids and welcome to another exciting edition of Feminine Wiles with your host, me! DjDk!

Today, our topic is an oldie but goodie, returning to visit high school.

Yesterday, I had the chance to see my high school’s spring concert. Now, this school is known for its music department and based on the performance yesterday, it still maintains such a reputation. However, this report is not about the people still in high school, but rather those that were once in high school. Upon entering the building, I was immediately brought face to face with an individual that I have done everything possible to cross out of my life. That, for the most part, remained successful yesterday and allowed time for observation of others.

It’s strange to come back to a place after two years to see how much one has changed in such a short period of time. Events are becoming more and more vague in my mind when it comes to remembering my glory days as a teenager, but yesterday for the first time in a long time it felt freeing to experience that. Granted, I was uncomfortable because while I still love the majority of the people I hung out with back then, I realized yesterday just how much I no longer fit in with them.

Whether this was obvious or not, I really did not care. I felt it strong enough for everyone.
Firstly, I would recommend to everyone going back to visit their school that, if you have recently acquired a new sense of style, think about toning it down as much as possible before the visit. This, whether true or not, made me feel like I stood out like a sore thumb.

Secondly, be prepared to be at a lack of things to really talk about. The more and more I spoke, the more and more I felt as if I were offending someone in some way. This was not due to the fact that I was attempting to draw attention to myself, but because I failed to realize how much I had changed since senior year. This brought me to the conclusion that, I was either very muted during high school and have since come out of my shell, or that I have stayed the same and everyone else has become muted. I think it is the first. This is not to say that people are boring now. However, in that tiny building, I found myself getting more and more claustrophobic. I had plenty of room to breathe, but I felt too big for the area and not physically. I had been questioning myself for so long before that that as a result, when thrust back into the past, I felt like I had grown too much to be there. And, looking at who I once was, I really have.
As uncomfortable as I was there, it was refreshing to feel so confident for once. Yes, I was nervous. Yes, I was frantically trying to get around people I no longer knew how to communicate with, but it felt good. Lately, I have been sitting back wondering if I am wasting my time in school. Not that I want to drop out, but wondering if I’m doing enough. The more and more I talked to people though, the more and more I was satisfied with what I had done. It felt nice to be able to look people in the eye and say, yes I just finished study abroad, yes I have work in my field already, yes I’m happy. Its strange to hear about people who do what they love and don’t see it as work until you can experience that yourself. Yes, sometimes writing is stressful and sometimes there are road blocks, but in the long run I’m doing what I love and it really doesn’t feel like work. That’s the greatest feeling in the world.

This is not to say that this end of teen crisis that I recently endured is done with. Everyone needs to go through this and needs to know that it doesn’t just end all at once. However, I can see the end of it now.

I’m proud to say that, upon entering my twenties after years of spirit-crushing turmoil and serious restructuring, I am both excited for the future and actually happy about who I am now.
In high school, I faked confidence to push me to do more and help me get into a good school. I questioned and severely disliked myself. Today, I can confidently look at the way things are going and the stresses I have ahead of me and know that I can handle them. I don’t fake confidence anymore, I have it.

…I just hate crowds.

Please Stay Tuned For Your Regularly Scheduled Broadcast

I just tried to look up whether Glenn Beck ever went to college. My internet freaked out and said there was a virus and closed out. Turns out, he never went to college. The irony of how difficult that was to learn is not lost on me.

Oh America and your giving even your most misinformed citizens television shows. I love you!

More actual updates to come!

Stay tuned!

More Volcano News

How many people can say that they couldn't get home from school because of a volcano?

VOLCANO!

Once upon a time, there was a volcano with an unpronounceable name in Iceland. This volcano was just chillin' until a few days ago when it decided to explode and spread its shit everywhere. This was the point in time that the volcano became uncool. The reason for this is that it managed to cancel all flights in Northern Europe until at least Monday. This growing trend has been one since Friday and now looms with the possibility of not allowing those at Kasteel Well to return home. What will become of our dear travelers?

No one knows...except the volcano...which I hate.

The end!

Words to Live By

And now, another exciting edition of:

Words to Live By

"If you trip in the Netherlands, you will see a Burmese Mountain Dog."

This has been another exciting edition of:

Words to Live By!

Until next time, kids!

Advice

And now, ladies and gentlemen, another exciting edition of advice:

Watch out for accordion players that talk to walls.

This has been another exciting edition of:

Advice.

Until next time, kids!

Homesickness and Wasted Money

While I have a few moments in class, I will take this opportunity to examine something that fervently affects everyone at some point during their adventures.

Today's topic is...

Homesickness.

The funny thing about homesickness is that it hits a person in waves. Somedays, you don't even think about home because you're too busy to have time to. Somedays, you want to kill the next person you see unless they'll beam you back to the States. It's a silent, unpredictable affliction that can neither be avoided nor defeated.

During days of the hardest barrages of nostaglia, one might wish to take a walk by themselves, cry, or spew their undirected rage at anything that seems to be "looking for it."

I've had my share of battles with this disease and can honestly say that when this trip is over, I am going to kiss the ground of Massachusetts.

Three more weeks of exile.

And now! To cheer you all up!

Where My Money is Going

When the sun is shining

You should not be whining

But in this land

There is always a hand

To bring back the dark

With a cigar spark

Because she doesn't care

Isn't really there

So why should I try?

Take part in a lie?

When even the leader

Is an empty word feeder

To our hungering minds

That are depressed to find

That all of this talk

Is as dense as a rock

That there is no better

Than an obscure letter

A mark of unclarity

And comments of sparity

For the price we are paying

We should all be saying

"Fuck you, rock."

-An Original Poem By Me, Ya?

Why I hate Avast!

I apologize for the lack of updates lately. It seems that something is wrong with my laptop and I've begun to suspect that it is because of the Avast! anti-virus software. I recommend that you either DO NOT get it or if you have to get it, have it run on manual scans. The fact that it was running in the background of my computer the entire time appears to have been the cause of the meltdown.

At the moment, I am actually updating from my laptop. I removed the damn program last time it worked and for the moment it appears to have helped the poor thing.

In other news:

A few notes about my travels.

1. If you get the answer to a question, you cannot relearn it.

2. If you can have problems traveling, you will.

3. If it could rain, it probably will. Unless you're planning on rain then it won't.

More to come!

This is DJ Dk, signing off!

Advice

And now, a special edition of Advice.

Today, we travel to the Tower of London where a jolly English Beefeater gave tidbits of information on England and how one can benifit in the country.

Information:

England had the first Watergate and "Tricky Dicky."

Advice:

America could have had history this rich if they had only paid their taxes on time.

Information:

Only one person has tried to steal the Crown Jewels and was pardoned for it.

Advice:

Befriend the King in a time of financial need and you can commit awesome crimes then get an amazing pension afterwards.

Information:

Whether you're leaving or entering the chapel, there will always be a 2-inch step.

Advice:

Do not trip. Blood is hard to get out of cobble stone.

Information:

The Tower of London has never been attacked (even by Nazis).

Advice:

Do not try and attack the Tower of London.

Information:

The Tower of London is made up of 20 towers and over 44 buildings.

Advice:

DO NOT TRY AND ATTACK THE TOWER OF LONDON.

This has been another exciting edition of: Advice.

Until next time, kids!

Ps. Platform 9 3/4 is not near Platform 9. It is actually off to the side of

platform 8. Wizards, take note of this.

Inventory Check

1 Scrabble Piece (K=5 pts)

4 Pieces of Bark

1 Black bead with Blue speckles

1 Multicolored String

1 Speckled leaf

1 pair of Fairy wings

Freedom never tasted so sweet.

Words to Live By

And now, a special extended edition of…

Words to Live By

Lesson One:

“You don’t have a briefcase if you don’t like your job.”

Lesson Two:

“Jesus was a loud-mouthed super hero.”

Lesson Three:

“The longer they sit, the harder they stand. But! The longer they sit, the easier they lay down and go to sleep.”

This has been another glorious episode of…

Words to Live By

Until next time, kids!

Advice

This blog was created to relay valuable life advice based on first hand experiences…and stuff.

Welcome, kids!

This is Feminine Wiles with DJ Dk!

Brought to you in part by:

Marijuana

And

A General Need to Cause Trouble

On our first episode, DJ Dk (and special guest MJ Sparkles) will explain the dos and don’ts of International Traveling.

How Not to Get Arrested in Germany

Step 1:

Do NOT bring drugs into Germany. If you bring drugs into Germany, see step 5. If not, see step 2.

Step 2:

Congratulations! You have now not been arrested in Germany! Carry on to Step 3.

Step 3:

Shit, there’s no pot in Germany!

Step 4:

Oh well.

Step 5:

DO NOT BRING DRUGS INTO GERMANY!!!!!

Perhaps I should give a bit of background to this post. I think the picture is fairly obvious. There was weed, disarmingly cute drug dogs, and a police force that enjoyed their time “fucking” with the Americans.

Take my advice, kids. If you want to enjoy your stay in Germany, leave the drugs at home. I promise, when you come back there will be more than you can stand of old Mary-Jane.

Until Next Time…

This is DJ Dk

Signing off.

Words to Live By

And now…

Words to Live By.

Hello, and welcome to Words To Live By. I’m your host, DJ Dk, and each installment I shall convey valuable life facts and lessons to make your time on this planet a little smoother.

Our first lesson:

“If it takes more than two fingers, ask for help.”

Until next time! This has been…

Words To Live By.

Pilot Episode

During my semester in Holland, I decided it would be a good idea to document all the interesting life lessons I am educated in. See, Holland is a strange place. There is a reason it is the second happiest country on earth. There is no reason why Iceland is the happiest country on earth.

You see, in Holland, they measure your speed based on a smiley or frowny face. This, right here, should give a clue as to how opposite Europe is from America.

The following entries will most likely only consist of various notes on how to survive in this strange land. I will leave it to you to piece together how they translate to my journey…and real life.

Give it a minute...

It took three months from the creation of this idea to the creation of this blog.

Things'll be up and running soon!