Adventure into the Once Known

These lack of updates have put me in quite the pickle, folks. You see, I’ve been home for three weeks now and actually, quite a bit has happened so updating will be a real…challenge.

To sum things up as best I can:

The Volcano was battled and defeated by all the Emersonian Castle Dwellers that dared to go home that day. Our plane departed on the first day the airports were opened and, despite four hours of line, the gate closing before any of us could check in, and 8 hours of flight, it was uneventful and successful. A tackle at the airport was a long awaited welcome home and I could not have been happier.

From there, one week of solitude ensued where I learned just how much I am not a housewife. This is a good thing to note when embarking in social situations because it clearly categorizes me as a strong, working woman. I am proud of this. Very proud.

Cinco de Mayo came and went complete with much mess and accomplishment. (A special edition of Feminine Wiles will be released later this month detailing the events of that night.)

I have since been working full time and dealing with family issues that have kept me otherwise occupied. However, as ABCrawford (You should read her blog!) pointed out, I have been neglectful and this is not good.

Thus, here is the main point of this entry:

And now, a special edition of Feminine Wiles with DjDk!

Adventure into the Once Known!

Hello kids and welcome to another exciting edition of Feminine Wiles with your host, me! DjDk!

Today, our topic is an oldie but goodie, returning to visit high school.

Yesterday, I had the chance to see my high school’s spring concert. Now, this school is known for its music department and based on the performance yesterday, it still maintains such a reputation. However, this report is not about the people still in high school, but rather those that were once in high school. Upon entering the building, I was immediately brought face to face with an individual that I have done everything possible to cross out of my life. That, for the most part, remained successful yesterday and allowed time for observation of others.

It’s strange to come back to a place after two years to see how much one has changed in such a short period of time. Events are becoming more and more vague in my mind when it comes to remembering my glory days as a teenager, but yesterday for the first time in a long time it felt freeing to experience that. Granted, I was uncomfortable because while I still love the majority of the people I hung out with back then, I realized yesterday just how much I no longer fit in with them.

Whether this was obvious or not, I really did not care. I felt it strong enough for everyone.
Firstly, I would recommend to everyone going back to visit their school that, if you have recently acquired a new sense of style, think about toning it down as much as possible before the visit. This, whether true or not, made me feel like I stood out like a sore thumb.

Secondly, be prepared to be at a lack of things to really talk about. The more and more I spoke, the more and more I felt as if I were offending someone in some way. This was not due to the fact that I was attempting to draw attention to myself, but because I failed to realize how much I had changed since senior year. This brought me to the conclusion that, I was either very muted during high school and have since come out of my shell, or that I have stayed the same and everyone else has become muted. I think it is the first. This is not to say that people are boring now. However, in that tiny building, I found myself getting more and more claustrophobic. I had plenty of room to breathe, but I felt too big for the area and not physically. I had been questioning myself for so long before that that as a result, when thrust back into the past, I felt like I had grown too much to be there. And, looking at who I once was, I really have.
As uncomfortable as I was there, it was refreshing to feel so confident for once. Yes, I was nervous. Yes, I was frantically trying to get around people I no longer knew how to communicate with, but it felt good. Lately, I have been sitting back wondering if I am wasting my time in school. Not that I want to drop out, but wondering if I’m doing enough. The more and more I talked to people though, the more and more I was satisfied with what I had done. It felt nice to be able to look people in the eye and say, yes I just finished study abroad, yes I have work in my field already, yes I’m happy. Its strange to hear about people who do what they love and don’t see it as work until you can experience that yourself. Yes, sometimes writing is stressful and sometimes there are road blocks, but in the long run I’m doing what I love and it really doesn’t feel like work. That’s the greatest feeling in the world.

This is not to say that this end of teen crisis that I recently endured is done with. Everyone needs to go through this and needs to know that it doesn’t just end all at once. However, I can see the end of it now.

I’m proud to say that, upon entering my twenties after years of spirit-crushing turmoil and serious restructuring, I am both excited for the future and actually happy about who I am now.
In high school, I faked confidence to push me to do more and help me get into a good school. I questioned and severely disliked myself. Today, I can confidently look at the way things are going and the stresses I have ahead of me and know that I can handle them. I don’t fake confidence anymore, I have it.

…I just hate crowds.

Please Stay Tuned For Your Regularly Scheduled Broadcast

I just tried to look up whether Glenn Beck ever went to college. My internet freaked out and said there was a virus and closed out. Turns out, he never went to college. The irony of how difficult that was to learn is not lost on me.

Oh America and your giving even your most misinformed citizens television shows. I love you!

More actual updates to come!

Stay tuned!